These questions are from Peter Scazzero's book " Emotionally Healthy Discipleship."
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- How would you describe each family member (parents, caretakers, grandparents, siblings, etc.) with two or three adjectives?
- How would you describe your parents' (or caretakers') and grandparents' marriages?
- How was conflict handled in your extended family over two to three generations? Anger? Gender roles?
- What were some generational themes (for example, addictions, affairs, losses, abuse, divorce, depression, mental illness, abortion, children born out of wedlock, etc.)?
- How well did your family do in talking about feelings?
- How was sexuality talked or not talked about? What were the implied messages?
- Were there any family "secrets" (such as an unwed pregnancy, incest, or financial scandal)?
- What was considered "success" in your family?
- How was money handled? Spirituality? Relationships with extended family?
- How did your family's ethnicity, race, culture shape you?
- Were there any heroes or heroines in the family? Scapegoats? "Losers?" Why?
- What addictions, if any, existed in your family?
- What traumatic losses has your family suffered? For example, sudden death, prolonged illness, stillbirth/miscarriage, bankruptcy, or divorce?
- What additional losses or wounds resulted from those traumatic losses? For example, loss of a nurturing childhood, loss of an emotionally available mother or father, loss of trust, etc.?