WEEK 1: 

Sex is good, and sex is powerful.

SCRIPTURE:

Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.”

So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it.” (Genesis 1:26-28a NLT)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. What are some places where most teenagers commonly hear about or talk about sex?
2. What are some things you expect to hear at church in a conversation about sex?
3. What are some common messages or beliefs about sex that you hear often?
4. God created sex to be something that’s both good and powerful. What are some positive things about this perspective on sex?
5. What are some of the potential negative impacts of sex being powerful?
6. In your own words, tell us what sexual integrity means to you.
7. By our definition, sexual integrity is guarding your potential for intimacy through appropriate boundaries and mutual respect. Practically, what does it mean to have boundaries and mutual respect when it comes to sex and relationships?
8. How might choosing to make sexual integrity the goal in your relationships change the way you treat others?
9. How might it change the way you expect to be treated by others?
10. This week, what’s one thing you can do to choose sexual integrity?

TEACHING OUTLINE:

INTRODUCTION

• The ways people sometimes talk about sex these days tends to leave out aspects that are really important.
  
• This series is all about asking the question - what if there’s more to it than we think?
• If you’re thinking this is the most awkward situation any human could possibly be in, let me explain what my experience hearing about sex in church was like. (Tell a personal story.)
• The hope is that no matter what, my experience won’t be your experience because of the way we’ll be talking about sex these next four weeks.

TENSION

• Regardless of what your experience has been with “the talk”—whether you got it from a parent, your health teacher, at church, your friends, the internet, or not at all—something we can probably all relate to is this: when it comes to sex, everyone has an opinion.
• And this makes things really difficult.
• Which leaves us with a problem. What should we believe? Where do we go to find out what we really need to know?
• The thing is, with as many messages as you have already gotten about sex, what if there was still something more to it than you think?
• That’s what we are going to spend our time talking about today.

TRUTH

• Have you ever tried to jump into the middle of a show, a few seasons in, or opened up your group chat, read the last message and were totally confused because you’d missed the last 70 messages?
• You’d have to figure out how it all started.
• In the same way, when it comes to sex, going back to the start is helpful.
• And when I say beginning, I mean the very beginning.
• We are going to look at a passage of Scripture found in the very first book of the Bible, Genesis.
• This ancient book includes the story of the beginning of the world from the perspective of the people of Israel.
• Genesis opens with the creation of the world. It’s the story of God’s intentional work to make the world
• Then, on the sixth day, God makes human beings.
• And this is what the author of Genesis writes:
  
• Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it." (Genesis 1:26-28a NLT)
• These couple of verses tell us a few things. But for our purposes we’ll focus on two: God made people and God made sex.
• The writer says, “It was very good.”
• [BOTTOM LINE]: sex is good and sex is powerful.
• That’s the first message we have about sex.
• Sex is good: it can feel good, it is an expression of love and trust, and vulnerability. And sex is powerful: it brings two people together in an intimate way, it can create life, it can bond relationships, and it can break relationships.
• And if sex is good and it’s powerful, that means sex isn’t shameful.
• How we treat sex and how we treat people matters.

APPLICATION

• But what does that mean for us now?
• We live with sexual integrity.
• First of all, integrity is simply living in a way where your beliefs and values match your actions; where what you think and hold deeply to be true comes out in the way you live.
• So, when we say we need to live with sexual integrity, it means what we think and believe about sex matches how we treat, talk about, and view sex.Then, on the sixth day, God makes human beings.
• We define it this way:
• Sexual integrity is guarding your potential for intimacy through appropriate boundaries and mutual respect.
• When your beliefs about something match your actions, you are set up to win in that area.
• That’s the goal for sexual integrity. And we get there with...
  • Appropriate boundaries.
  • Mutual respect.
• When we say creating appropriate boundaries, we mean having a conversation with yourself and the person you are with about what is acceptable physically and emotionally.
• It also means having conversations about what you are going to do to keep those boundaries.
• It means being proactive ahead of time about what you want and don’t want when you are in the moment.
• And here’s what we mean by mutual respect. Mutual just means you are making decisions realizing there is more than one person involved here.
• So to have mutual respect, means there is a shared respect, a shared honoring of one another.
• It means there is a question of: what is good for both of us? Does this honor them? Does this honor myself?
• This means you don’t take advantage of someone else and you don’t compromise your own boundaries.
• This also means you have conversations instead of trying to read someone else’s mind. And you don’t expect someone to read yours.
• In other words, sexual integrity is about way more than sex. It’s about how you understand sex—as good and powerful—but also how you view yourself and others.
• God made humans very good.
• And part of God’s plan for these very good people was sex as a good and powerful thing.
• Sex is good and sex is powerful.

LANDING

• What if there was more to sex, and it was much simpler than we imagined?
• How we understand sex and how we see and think about people matters.
• When we see God’s design for sex more clearly, we can see just how good and powerful it really is.

WEEK 2: 

Technology is good, and technology is powerful. 

SCRIPTURE:

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20 NIV)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. What forms of technology do you use on a regular basis?
2. In what ways has technology made your life better or easier?
3. In what ways can technology cause temptation or complicate life?
4. How does something like pornography impact the way we see...
   • Sex?
   • Ourselves?
   • Other people?
5. How might something like pornography impact our ability to choose sexual integrity?
6. Paul told us to “flee from sexual immorality.” What do you think that actually means?
7. When it comes to things like pornography and technology, what would it look like for you to run away from sexual immorality?
8. What would it look like for you to run toward sexual integrity instead?

TEACHING OUTLINE:

INTRODUCTION

• What's up everybody? There’s no sugar coating it, no way around it—you picked a fantastic week to show up because... This is our sex talk.
• This isn’t the first time you’ve heard the word sex.
• Sex is a thing we tend to whisper about or talk about behind closed doors, in the dark, or in dms.
• And lastly before we jump in—when it comes to things that are good and powerful like money, like sex, like your health, like the future... all kinds of good and powerful things—isn’t it true that you want to approach them with a plan instead of waking up one day unsure of how you got there?
• So that’s what we’re doing here in this conversation.
• This week hold on to your phones; we’re talking about how, when it comes to sex, technology is good and powerful.
• We’re going to focus on one of the most sexualized aspects of technology...
• Pornography . . .

TENSION

• First, we have to acknowledge something important about technology:
• Technology is good.
• At the same time, technology can be really difficult to manage.
• There’s so much potential for good and so much potential for bad. And sometimes some of us, not all of us, think we can handle more than we actually can. And that brings us to the next part of our sex talk.

TRUTH

• Now, the authors who wrote the Bible didn’t know about the technology we have today, but they did have something to say about the topics we’re covering, or the challenges those things create.
• We read the Bible because we aren’t the first people to experience the challenges we face, and looking back at how they handled it can help us see how to handle it moving forward.
• So, there’s a guy we tend to talk about a lot in church named Paul. He was one of the central figures in getting the church started. We talk about him a lot because he was responsible for writing a significant portion of part of the Bible.
• One of those letters was to a church in a town called Corinth.
• Think New York or Los Angeles! It was also a very sexual culture, kind of like our culture today.
• And in the midst of that, the apostle Paul said this:
• "Flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18 NIV).
• You know that flee basically means to run away, like really run away.
• What is sexual immorality? Sexual immorality is acting in a way that doesn’t line up with what God says is best when it comes to sex.
• On the other hand, integrity is when your actions match your beliefs.
• That’s why you’ll hear us use the phrase “sexual integrity.”
• Sexual integrity means respecting yourself and others when it comes to intimacy.
• This idea can change the way we think about porn.
• Sexual content is all around us!
• And here’s what you and I know: it’s impossible to spend time around something and not be affected by it!
• Paul continues...
  
• “All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” (1 Corinthians 6:18-20 NIV)
• Now, in this passage Paul talks a lot about the potential negative impact of sexual immorality. But that’s because he placed such a high value on the way our bodies are connected to sex.
• Sex can affect so many areas of our lives—our futures or mental health, the quality of our relationships—so God must have designed it intentionally.
• To be clear, desiring another person in a sexual way is common. Being curious about sex is good and okay. We are sexual beings, and it’s okay to have sexual desire, be curious about sex, and be attracted to other people.
• That’s why when it comes to sex and technology...
• 1 – Technology is a poor substitute for real sexual connection.
• 2 – Technology is a poor education tool for sex.
• 3 – Technology makes it easier to treat people worse.
• This isn’t a knock against sexual desires or technology. This is about what’s best for you, your future, and what’s honorable for your body.
• Think of it this way:
• TECHNOLOGY IS GOOD, AND TECHNOLOGY IS POWERFUL.
• When we turn to technology to satisfy our sexual desires, it leads us away from sexual integrity.

APPLICATION

• So, what does sexual integrity look like in the area of technology?
• Sexual integrity is guarding your potential for intimacy through appropriate boundaries and mutual respect.
• When your beliefs about something match your actions, you are set up to win in that area.
• That’s the goal for sexual integrity. And we get there with...
  • Flee from - What would it look like for you to run away from sexual immorality?
  • Run toward - What part of sexual integrity do you need to intentionally move in the direction of?

LANDING

• Technology is good, and technology is powerful.
• Maybe today it’s time for us to consider if there’s more power to technology than we may have thought possible.
• You can see God working when you choose sexual integrity and experience God helping you live that out.

WEEK 3: 

Confession is good, and confession is powerful. 

SCRIPTURE:

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.  (Galatians 6:2 NIV)

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.  (1 John 1:5-9 NIV)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. Who in your life do you find easy to talk to about anything? What makes them easy to open up to?
2. Why do you think it’s easier for most of us to want to keep our choices about sex and relationships to ourselves?
3. What are some of the dangers in keeping those things to ourselves?
4. What does it mean to bring something out of the darkness and into the light?
5. What do you think it means to follow Paul’s guidance to carry one another’s burdens?
   • Have you ever seen someone do this well? Tell us about it.
6. How might confession help us do both of the last two things we talked about?
7. What traits do you look for in a person to let you know they’re safe to confess to?
8. This week, what’s one step you can take toward confessing...
   • To God?
   • To a safe person in your life?

TEACHING OUTLINE:

INTRODUCTION

• (Communicator Note: Tell a personal story.)

TENSION

• Now, when it comes to topics like sex, there are probably things that we’d prefer to keep to ourselves.
• We have reasons why we don’t feel like we can talk about it... Maybe you feel like you can’t be your full self in the different areas in your life so now different people know different versions of you.
• Why is that? Well, sometimes . . .
• We don’t feel like we have a safe place to talk about it fully.
• We don’t feel like we have a safe person to talk about it with fully.
• We don’t feel like we have the courage to talk about it.
• So what we typically do instead is ignore it. We just act like it’s not there.
• Or we distract ourselves with something else to make the thoughts and feelings go away.
• Or we compartmentalize it.
• We keep it all separate, and it never crosses over.
• What is a better way? Well, let’s talk about it!

TRUTH

• In the New Testament, which is the second big chunk of the Bible, there are a bunch of letters written by a leader named Paul.
• He started a bunch of churches, and he would later write letters to those churches to encourage them.
• And what’s cool about these letters is that they really help us, thousands of years later, understand what it means to live out our faith in Jesus.
• In one of those letters, Paul says this:
  
• “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2 NIV)
• I want to point out three things about this passage:
• When Paul says “burdens,” he’s talking about struggles and temptations.
• When Paul says to “fulfill the law of Christ,” he’s talking about love.
• Paul wrote this to a church.
• Later in the New Testament, another writer named John said this:
• “This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us” (I John 1:5-8 NIV)
• John is telling us that as followers of Jesus, we are called to trust that God is good and live like this is true.
• This includes “fellowship” with others—authentic community with other Jesus-followers.
• John’s saying that part of following Jesus is living in close relationships with each other.
• It means having real and good conversations with each other in a way that goes beyond “how are you doing?” “Fine.”
• But then John mentions “sin,” meaning we sometimes miss the mark for what God says is best.
• He says that if we claim to be without sin, we’re lying to ourselves.
• And then John says this:
• “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9 NIV)
• After John talked about the light, he talked about bringing things into the light.
• He used the word confess, which basically means to admit.
• John invites us to live authentically so that we aren’t carrying the weight of those things we’ve kept in the dark.
• Turning on the light makes things better.
• John is telling us to turn on the light when it comes to things inside our heart.
• This means that...
• We can confess, to God and someone else, decisions we’ve made where we may have stepped outside of alignment with sexual integrity.
• We can share with someone safe about something that’s been done to us that wasn’t our fault. We can process it and bring it to the light.
• We can open up to God and someone else about some of our thoughts, feelings, and questions.
• Confession is good, and confession is powerful.
• (Communicator Note: Tell a personal story that illustrates how confession brought you or someone you know closer with a “safe” person.)
• This is the power of confession. It draws us closer to God and each other.

APPLICATION

• In light of what we talked about today, there’s one thing you can do to turn on the lights in your life:
• Confess to God
  
• Confess to someone safe.

LANDING

• God’s love for us never changes, no matter what we do. It’s unfailing.
• Confession isn’t intended to increase guilt. It’s about us bringing things to the light for the sake of healing and relief. The result isn’t judgment—it’s freedom.
• Confession is good, and confession is powerful.
• We all have a tendency to hide or pretend like everything is perfect when it’s not. Especially when it comes to the topic of sex. 
• Instead, we can come to God and someone else just as we are.
• What if the Church was full of people who helped you carry your burdens? What if it was full of people who were for you and had your back?
• Why don’t we all work together on becoming that type of place for each other! I think that if we did, it would be a lot easier to feel safe to talk about some of the things that are often difficult to talk about.

WEEK 4: 

Boundaries are good, and boundaries are powerful.

SCRIPTURE:

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. (1 Corinthians 6:18-20 NIV)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

1. In your own words, describe what it means to set a boundary.
2. Why do you think people might see boundaries as negative?
3. How might boundaries help us live with sexual integrity?
4. What’s one way you can know when you need to set a better boundary for yourself?
5. How do you typically respond when a boundary is pushed or crossed?
6. In your own words, how would you define consent? (Leader Note: Consent is another word for permission.)
7. Why is consent important when it comes to sex, relationships, and boundaries?
8. Think practically! What are some boundaries you want to put in place for yourself right now?
9. How do you plan to honor those boundaries?
10. Again, think practically! What does it look like for you to honor someone else’s boundaries?
11. Who is one person you can talk to about setting healthy boundaries this week?

TEACHING OUTLINE:

INTRODUCTION

• (Communicator Note: Tell a personal story.)
• As we close out the conversation about sex and sexual integrity, there’s more to it all than we think.
• Boundaries are a good thing.
• Think about traffic in the United States. Can you imagine if streets had no lines, no markings, no space dividing your lane from mine, no signage to say who’s turn it is to fly through an intersection? That would feel unsafe.
• It’s the same way with sex—established boundaries are important.

TENSION

• The problem is that any time there’s a boundary, we feel like it’s limiting our freedom.
• And freedom is a great thing we want more of.
• We like having space and freedom, and we don’t like being told what we can’t do.
• On the flip side, none of us like the way it feels if our boundaries are crossed or pressured.
• So, while we don’t like being told what to do, we also don’t like the way it feels when lines are crossed or pushed.
• But what if limits and boundaries were never meant to be a bad thing? And what if they actually freed us up to make empowered decisions for ourselves?

TRUTH

• We’re going to bring this series full circle by going back to the Garden. And what I mean by that is back to the beginning, when God created all of this and set it in motion.
• But before we do that, I want us to quickly look at another passage that we’ve talked about in this series:
• “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” (I Corinthians 6:18-20 NIV)
• Here’s the thing: we are sexual beings. That means it’s okay to have sexual desire, be physically attracted to someone else, and to be curious about sex.
• Sex is powerful, and it’s good.
• Paul is telling us that when we’re about to cross boundary lines, we should go the other way.
• But what is a boundary?
• Think of boundaries this way. A boundary...
• Keeps something out
• Keeps something in
• Doesn’t have gaps/loopholes
• Can be seen from far away
• Some of you may be thinking, “Of course! This is when you tell us all of the things we can’t or shouldn’t do! You’re going to tell us how sex is bad and we shouldn’t do it.”
• If you feel that way, I get it. That’s probably exactly how I felt in high school—even the conversations about sex felt shameful.
• When you go back to the garden where God created Adam and Eve, we read this:
• “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” (Genesis 2:25 NIV)
• Why is this verse even included in the Bible? So we can see God’s intention—for people to be free. For Adam and Eve to be intimate with each other and feel no shame.
• For them to be completely known without feeling dirty or bad about it.
• Now you may be thinking, “That sounds good to me! Sign me up for that! They were free, which means they had no boundaries.” No, I said they had no shame. They still had boundaries.
• In fact, if you move forward a chapter, you read this verse. Check out what Adam said back to God:
• “He answered, ‘I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.’” (Genesis 3:10 NIV)
• Wait, what happened? First, they are naked and they felt no shame, and now they’re hiding because they’re scared and naked?
• What happened in between these two verses is that Adam and Eve crossed the boundaries that God had set up for them.
• Once the boundary was gone, that’s when they felt fearful and ashamed.
• Adam and Eve saw boundaries from the beginning. There was a boundary separating sky and earth, light and dark, and sea and land. Humans were placed within the garden—that was their boundary. There was a certain tree they couldn’t eat from—again, a boundary.
• There was a place for everything, and every boundary that God created was for Adam and Eve’s good.
• Boundaries are good, and boundaries are powerful.
• We see this all around us.
• It’s the same in our sexual lives.
• When we decide that our boundary will be to live with sexual integrity—and we honor that boundary and the boundaries of others—we actually begin to experience the type of life and sexual integrity that God designed us to.

APPLICATION

• Now, as we wrap up this week and this series, please remember two things.
• These are two habits for you to put into practice, because they will be good for you!
• Honor your boundaries:

• Practice saying no.
• Decide how you want to be treated. 
• Say something.
• Honor their boundaries:
• Ask yourself, “Am I doing what’s best for the other person despite what I want from them?”
• Understand that consent—permission—is the first step toward respect.
• Accept the no.

LANDING

• From the beginning, God’s intention for sex wasn’t for it to feel shameful.
• God wanted it to be good!
• And part of what made it good were boundaries.
• What if we actually experienced more of what God intended by practicing these boundaries in our own lives? 
• Boundaries are good, and boundaries are powerful. 
• And that, my friends, is the end of this sex talk!